On to this month

So AF came as we left for a roadtrip last Thursday. YeeHaw! Actually the timing sucked, but I'm ready for the new month. So today is CD 5. I'll start the clomid tonight and peeing on sticks on a few days. The road trip and weekend with family was very stressful and emotionally draining, but that is all I will say about that. Fingers crossed!

Blah

So I took off the month of August from tracking/pill taking and of course now my cycle is running long. Currently on CD 34. No, I am not pregnant. I've taken two tests. I'll keep testing until CD 40, then I'm taking something to start AF. It's all very frustrating. I will take clomid again with the new cycle and do the digital OPK. I saw this quote on pinterest today: Do not spoil what you have by desiring that you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for. It's all about appreiation. Apreciate what I do have: a wonderful daughter and loving husband and a life I have always wanted being a SAHM. Still hope for what I long for: a little baby in my arms to complete our little family. I don't know how the heck I made it 6 years still hoping and knowing I would be a mom someday.

Names

Since I AM hopeful every month I think about names. I want to honor my grandparents if we are able to have another child. My grandmas' names were Erma and Sarah. My grandpas, Robert and Joseph. I was thinking of taking combining be grandmother's names into Ersa--it is a real name: In Greek mythology, Ersa is the goddess of dew and the daughter of Zeus and the Moon (Selene), sister of Pandia and half-sister to Endymion's 50 daughters. I like that it is a greek name. It would be a middle name. But I'm having trouble finding a first name that flows well. I think if we had a boy, he would just have two middle names, Robert Joseph/Joseph Robert.

It gets old

The whole TTC thing. I honestly don't know how I hung in there for 6 years the first time. So we are 15 months now. Did clomid last month, made me WAY emotional. I was hopeful, but no BFP. Did clomid again this month--it made me realy irritable like I wanted to hide in a hole away from everyone. I have been using the digital CBE ovulation monitor. This month was weird. I started feeling really bloated on CD 14 & 15 was the monitor was still reading low fertility. Then BAM, ovulation on CD 16 and 17. I did not get a single high fertility day leading up to the ovulation days. Strange. I could see on the stick, no line one day, equal line the very next. So I don't think it was the test really. Anyway, I think we got in sufficient baby dancing. We will see what happens. If I get a BFN after this cycle I think I will take a month off of the clomid and then try again in September. If I am not pregnant by the end of this year I think i will go back to Dr. Gelety as see about IUI's and having monitored cycles. :-(

May

I skipped clomid this month because the timing of it would have had ovulation liely during Daphne's birthday party weekend with lots of family staying at my house. But I did to the digital ovulation monitor. Got my peak days yesterday and today. Yeah. So we will see what happens. I have a follow up with the family doctor this evening regarding the taking of clomid. I shluld have had three rounds by now, but I've only done one. Oh well. Daphne's birthday party was a success. We had 15 people, just close friends and family. I got a groupon for catering and used that. It was one of the easiest parties I've ever done. Daphne had a blast being the center of attention. She loved playing in her kiddie pool with her cousins, opening her presents and being sung to. Everyone singing to her I think was a highlight for her--she watches the little video of it over and over on my phone.

14 years :-)

We celebrated 14 years of marriage on May 2nd. This weekend we are taking a mini vacation up to the Arizona Grand Resort. It has a little water park which Daphne will love. We are sooooooo looking forward to it. We are getting massages at the spa and I am getting a paraffin pedicure. I cannot wait. It does not even seem like 14 years. All good things seem to go by in the blink of an eye.

Not hopeful this cycle

I took the clomid. Which made me crazy. I used the digital OPK. We had sex the day before my two peak day. Then Justin hurt his back, so no sex on the peak days (CDs 19 & 20). Frustrating. I think I may take this month off and do clomid again in June. By the way I poas on CD 29 and it was a BFN. I'll poas again in a few days.